I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
