You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
