Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
