At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The Olympian is in my bed
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
