Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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