I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize