butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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