i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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