Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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