The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
