my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
