You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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