she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
