He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
