he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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