i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
