it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
