shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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