i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
