he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
