Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Randomize