I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
