Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
