Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
