its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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