My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
