I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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