Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
