anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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