i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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