I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
this hospital has no fireball
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
