So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
