Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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