the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
