i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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