don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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