He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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