Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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