He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
