taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
tell me about the fingering
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
