i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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