how can u be prego again
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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