I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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