she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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