so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
