i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
