Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
