Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
