So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
