can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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