Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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