so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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