I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
where am i from again
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
