They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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