hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
