guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
