We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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