yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Help. Why am I so naked?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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