spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
