Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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