38 yer olds are good kisserssss
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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