Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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