oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
