Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
